


Mayhaps

by yocottondae



Category: EXO
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23224078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yocottondae/pseuds/yocottondae
Summary: Jongdae and Junmyeon, best friends. Well it’s what they thought. But are they?
Relationships: #SUCHEN #Junmyeon #Jongdae
Kudos: 3





	Mayhaps

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry if there’s a lot of grammar/vocabulary/sentence structures mistakes as English isn’t my main language. And I’m sorry for the title this is actually my first time of writing fics please forgive me. Comment anything, I’ll accept it gladly.

Jongdae woke up, sighing. “Ah working is never fun” he sighed. Usually Jongdae isn't the type that would dress up to work, but today, he has to wear something that is appealing. He intentionally wore a blue work suit, because that is his special friend’s favourite color. Well, he thought that they are friends, best friends to be precise, but the honest truth is, Jongdae is unsure of his own feelings. Jongdae took a quick breakfast before heading off to work.

Today is just like any other day. Work is stressing him off. The only thing that excites him today is to meet that special person of his. “Can the time runs faster today?”, he silently hopes, which he knows it never will.

—————————————————————

Junmyeon took the second train to his office today. Even though his office is twenty minutes driving from his home, yet he feels that commuting by train is much more efficient, as the train station and his office is just by walking distance.

“I see you at the usual spot this evening” the message appears on Junmyeon’s phone screen. “Ah this man, so bossy” he speaks as he’s smiling. The thought of seeing that person, excites him already. The thought of reuniting at their familiar spot, talking and having their meals together made Junmyeon blushed.

Junmyeon couldn’t take his eyes off the clock. He wanted his office hours to end fast. He couldn’t bear it any longer. He wanted to meet this person now. He wanted to tell that person the stories he’s been keeping. Even though they have not met each other for only a few weeks due to work, in that span of weeks, so many things had happened to Junmyeon.

———————————————————-

Jongdae smiles as he sees the familiar figure appears. “I’ve ordered your favourite meal, just in case you’ll arrive late”

“They have added a new menu, but I bet it doesn’t fit your liking. Anyway, how was your work today?,” Jongdae adds.

“Just like you’ve always said, working is never fun anyway,” Junmyeon growls. Junmyeon pours the drink to both of their cups, to quench their thirst. Jongdae took it, and sips.

Jongdae further said “It’s only a few weeks that we have not met each other, yet you have so many stories to tell, huh?”.

“Well, it can’t be helped. We used to see each other daily during uni, and even during our internship, and now since we’ve got separated due to work because I changed to a new company, and not seeing each other for a few weeks, it is quite long”, Junmyeon answered. That period of time was hard for Junmyeon to breathe, to let through, as he used to have Jongdae as his company and by his side since the last ten years.

Their meals have arrived, and instead of indulging Junmyeon’s favourite fried rice, he began talking. “Jongdae, well, I don’t know how to say this, but I hope you will not get shock or something”.

Jongdae looked up and locked his eyes on Junmyeon, and said “What is it?”. Before Junmyeon began talking, he reached for Jongdae’s palm, hold it tightly.

Jongdae was taken aback with Junmyeon’s act, curiosity kicks in. “What is it? Stop acting strange. You’ve scared me”, Jongdae utters.

“Well, do you remember the woman, that I told you. The one that I frequently encountered at my previous office?” Junmyeon began talking. Jongdae nods.

“Okay a few weeks ago, I met her again. We met accidentally. She approached me first. On that day, somehow I got the courage to ask for her number. We went on a couple of dates. And”, before Junmyeon finishes his sentence, Jongdae cuts. “And what?”.

Junmyeon continues, “We are officially dating. We got engaged yesterday”.

Jongdae, in disbelief and horror, replies, “What do you mean by engaged? You’ve just got to know each other recently. Ain’t that too fast?”

Junmyeon sighs, and mumbles “Well Jongdae, I am not that young anymore. I’ll be turning 32 this year, and most of my peers are married. Besides, my parents keep on signing me with blind dates and matchmade me with girls that I don’t even know. I have to make a move”.

Jongdae kind of agrees. Even though they’re batchmates and roommates in uni, Junmyeon is four years older than him. Junmyeon enrolled in university later compared to his peers, making him the eldest among them all. Nevertheless, they didn’t even treat Junmyeon differently.

“I assured you Jongdae, she is the one.” Junmyeon claims. Jongdae chuckles. “Why? I’m saying the right thing”, Junmyeon protested.

Before Jongdae wanted to reply, Junmyeon’s phone rang, making Junmyeon get up to answer it. Jongdae nods, as a sign that he doesn’t mind Junmyeon leaving the table for a moment.

Jongdae resumes savouring his meal. He thought that he could enjoy this meal, as he purposely starved himself during lunch.

Few minutes later, Junmyeon barged in. “Jongdae ya, I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go. My fiancée wanted me to fetch her from her workplace. She usually carpools with her housemates but today, something urgent came up," Junmyeon excuses himself. He left some cash on the table, and told Jongdae to pay the bills, it’s on him. Before Jongdae could even say anything, Junmyeon rushes off to the door, exiting himself from the restaurant.

“People really act differently when they’re in love, huh?”, Jongdae scoffs.

————————————————————

It’s been a few weeks since the last meet up with Junmyeon. Both of them are caught up with their work, therefore making them have little time to hang out. It’s lunch time, and Jongdae decides to check his phone while waiting for his meal to arrive.

Jongdae clicked on Instagram icon on his screen, and he saw username junmyeon_cotton uploaded an insta story. His curiosity rose, thus making him wanted to see what Junmyeon posted.

He did. Instead of feeling excited and happy seeing his update, he feels the other way around. He is hurt. His heart is heavy. Even though it was only a snippet of Junmyeon having his lunch together with his fiancée, Jongdae feels hurt. He tried to shrug those feelings away, but he couldn’t.

He is unsure and uncertain about this matter, part of him feeling happy that Junmyeon has found his love life, part of him isn’t. He feels that Junmyeon is starting to drift apart from him, he started to feel they’re being distant. The thought of not being around Junmyeon’s presence hurts him even more.

Before Jongdae dwelling further into his emotions, his phone vibrates. The delivery guy has reached his office, telling Jongdae to pick his meal at the ground floor. Jongdae answered he will be there in a second.

—————————————————————

It’s the weekend. Jongdae thought of visiting Junmyeon. Therefore, he decided to cook Junmyeon’s favourite breakfast dishes, banana pancakes and omelettes.

Before he could move, his chest was suddenly in pain. He couldn’t breathe. After a few minutes, the pain started to fade. Instead of getting up, he had lost in his own thoughts.

He has been having all these symptoms frequently lately. Often, he would end up swallowing pain killer pills, because the pain isn’t bearable. He thought of visiting the doctor, but work has been catching up with him lately. “Well maybe, after seeing Junmyeon, I shall visit the doctor”, he told himself.

As he was dressing up, he started to cough. This time, he was coughing up blood. Jongdae is panicking. He knows that this is serious. As he was contemplating on which destination he should go first, at the same time he took the breakfast that he cooked for Junmyeon.

Later, he found himself driving to Junmyeon’s place. The place that he has been longed for.

He purposely did not tell Junmyeon about this matter. He wanted to make it a surprise. He pressed Junmyeon’s doorbell multiple times. Unfortunately, nobody answers it.

He wanted to enter by using the passcode that Junmyeon once told him before, to no avail, it was incorrect. Jongdae then walks away in disappointment.

—————————————————————

It’s the weekend. This time, he returned to his parent’s home, as he hasn’t seen them for a while.

He misses Jongdae, but Junmyeon has other priorities now. He feels terrible that he keeps on declining Jongdae’s hangout, yet he wanted to be there for his fiancée as well.

As Junmyeon was about to reach his phone, he heard a knock on his door. It’s no other than his mum’s figure, appearing before his face.

“Good morning son! Come let’s have breakfast together. I’ve prepared some banana pancakes for you”, his mum said.

“Banana pancakes, I miss it. Okay mum, I’ll be there soon”, he replied.

“Anyway, how is Jongdae? I haven’t seen him for quite a while. Are you two still friends or?”, his mum asked.

“Yes of course mum, it’s just work that made us both busier. Besides I have moved out, I also haven’t met him for quite a while”, Junmyeon responded. His mother nods, then walks away.

Junmyeon is currently savoring the banana pancakes eagerly. It’s been so long since he ate it, especially the one that made by his mum. It kind of reminds him of Jongdae's pancakes as well. Jongdae is such a good cook, he has the ability to cook great meals, inclusive of making banana pancakes to have a similar taste like his mum’s.

Before Junmyeon could reminisce more, his dad breaks the silence. “So Jun, I heard you’re dating now. Is it?”

Junmyeon blushed, “Yes dad. I am. We’re planning to get married soon”, as he sips his chocolate drink.

“That’s a good thing. Besides, you’re turning 32 soon. So when will you bring us to see her?”, his dad asked.

Instead of answering the question, he went silent. To be honest, he isn’t unsure whether this is the right thing to be done. Just like Jongdae said, he even agreed that he kind of rushed things. Yet, he couldn’t be a loner any longer.

—————————————————————

Junmyeon grabbed his phone. He began typing and sent the message to the intended recipient. He really cannot wait till this evening, he wanted to meet that person so bad. He even skipped his lunch, because he was too focused working, with the hope that once the working hours ends, he can rush off to the designated place. He doesn’t want to be late. He wanted to make up.

The clock strikes 5:30 pm. Junmyeon began tidying his desk. Usually he would go back at 6 pm, but this time it ain’t it. He has to go now. Junmyeon bids goodbye to his colleagues. Junmyeon told that person to meet him at this Hotpot restaurant, he knows this person loves hotpot so much.

Before he could reach the restaurant, his phone rang. It was from his fiancée. His fiancée wanted to have dinner together. Junmyeon is torn. He wanted to see that person so badly, yet he couldn’t simply deny his fiancée's invitation. With a heavy heart, he sent a text.

—————————————————————

Jongdae was thrilled when he saw that person’s message in the morning. He was all pumped up to work today, because he will see his favourite person in the evening. Jongdae even clocked out earlier than the usual working hours, as the place he will go is kind of far away from his office, around a 40 minutes journey. Besides, the road that leads to that place is often stuck in heavy traffic. He really wanted to avoid that.

As Jongdae is about to close his car’s door, his phone vibrates. He excites as he saw that it’s from Junmyeon. He thought that Junmyeon might have arrived.

He opened the text and that time, disappointment and hurt are only the exact words to describe his feeling. Junmyeon had to cancel tonight’s dinner, as he has to rush to his fiancée.

Tears began running in his eyes. “Not this time again, Junmyeon”, he mutters under his breath. Jongdae pitifully gets inside his car, and drives away.

—————————————————————-

Junmyeon couldn’t get himself focused tonight. His thoughts, his minds are all over the place. He can’t shrug off the guilt he’s been feeling, the thought of disappointing Jongdae, his close best friend, that has been with him all these years. Well, he thought that they’re best friends. But are they?

Junmyeon’s attention was brought back to light when his fiancée snapped her fingers on his face. “Jun, is everything ok? You completely lost in your own thoughts”, his fiancée asked.

Junmyeon shakes his head. “I am so sorry. It’s just work been piling up lately. What were you talking about earlier?”. His fiancée started off talking.

—————————————————————-

“Ah not again”, Jongdae told himself.

These last few days he had been frequently coughing blood. The occurrence of chest pain also became frequent. Jongdae forgot the last time he didn’t feel the pain.

He talked about this matter to Chanyeol, one of his best friends since university, Chanyeol urged him to see the doctor immediately. Jongdae shrugged off, assuring Chanyeol that he will be fine.

Yet, Chanyeol insisted him going. Chanyeol even threatened him, “Jongdae if you don’t see the doctor immediately, I will cut our existing ties”. Jongdae laughs at it. Chanyeol told him that he is serious. Jongdae later on agreed.

The next day, Jongdae decides to take a day off to see the doctor. He goes in without feeling anything, even deep in his heart he knows that his condition is worsening. He knows that his health is deteriorating.

After a few check ups and explanations made to the doctor, the doctor then asked Jongdae to undergo a CT scan. Jongdae kind of refused at first, but the doctor assured him that this is pretty much necessary. The doctor said the result will be out in the next few days, having Jongdae to personally see the doctor later. Jongdae kind of hesitating, as he needs to take another leave for that day. After everything is done, he goes home.

The result of his CT scan will be out tomorrow. Jongdae insisted on having Baekhyun to accompany him to the doctor. After telling Baekhyun his health, Baekhyun automatically agrees. “It’s okay Jongdae. I’ll go with you tomorrow”, Baekhyun responded the day before.

Jongdae knew it. He knows the pain he’s been suffering, it’s related to his late father’s disease. His late father was diagnosed with lung cancer back then, which eventually took away his dad’s life. After thoroughly examining Jongdae’s CT scan result, and analysing the symptoms, the doctor concluded that Jongdae might be suffering from the same disease.

What makes it way worse is that Jongdae is left with approximately around 6 months or so to live. Baekhyun, instead of comforting him, burst into tears. Baekhyun hugged Jongdae, so tight that Jongdae felt breathless. Yet, Jongdae too feels too clueless to react.

In the span of six months to live, Jongdae feels his world crushes in front of him. He feels helpless. He feels lost, just like when both of his parents passed away back then.

Jongdae has no one here after all. His mum died, due to an accident. Born as the only child in the family, making Jongdae has lost all of his family members. That’s why he valued the friendship he has the most, the bond that he has with his three other best friends or brothers.

Baekhyun immediately texted Chanyeol and Junmyeon in their group chat, to gather at Jongdae’s place tonight. Chanyeol agreed, and told them he will arrive right after his office hour ends, whereas Junmyeon excuses himself, as he is currently out of town.

Upon reading that from Junmyeon, the pain that Jongdae feels intensifies. He really wanted Junmyeon to be there with them. He really wanted them to reunite like those nights.

He swallows the pain, and replied to Junmyeon’s text by saying “it’s okay”.

—————————————————————-

It’s the weekend. Chanyeol texted them to gather around.

“It’s been so long since we four reunite and talking, like we did before”, Chanyeol added. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae agreed to come, only Junmyeon was silent in their group chat. Jongdae can sense that Junmyeon might not coming since no answer coming from Junmyeon, Jongdae assumes he’ll not come.

Three of them have arrived at the designated place. There was no sign of Junmyeon. “A ha, I’ve thought so”, Jongdae mumbles.

However, a familiar face appears and approaching their direction. At that moment, Jongdae wanted to jump. Finally, the face that he has been missing, been longing is in front of him.

“I’m sorry. Caught up with traffic”, Junmyeon explains.

Four of them later continued the meeting, talking about so many things. They laughed. They reminisced the good days they had together.

For a moment, Jongdae feels painless. For a moment, Jongdae forgot he’s actually battling cancer that eventually will take away his life. For a moment, Jongdae really wanted time to freeze, to stop. For a moment, Jongdae wants to savour the time, praying that it will last forever.

All these precious moments suddenly turned into a nightmare to Jongdae when, Chanyeol opened up about Junmyeon’s marriage. “So Myeon, I heard you will get married soon”, Chanyeol asked.

“Yes”, Junmyeon fidgeting.

“When will it be scheduled to be held?”, Baekhyun went further.

“Approximately four months from now”, Junmyeon answered.

Three of them were shocked. “Isn’t that too fast? Considering how you guys just get to know each other?”, Chanyeol responded.

“I know, but isn’t marriage a good thing. Why need to delay, anyway”, Junmyeon defended.

While sipping his drink, Baekhyun asked, “who’s going to be your best man?”.

Without hesitation, Junmyeon pointed out at Jongdae. Jongdae pointed at himself, “Me?”, he asked, as assurance. Junmyeon nods, without pausing. Jongdae bewildered. “What’s with the confusion, Dae?”, Baekhyun asked.

“Ohh it’s just nothing. I still couldn’t process the fact that he’s engaged without telling me he’s dating someone, and now he announced he’s getting married soon. Everything just feels disoriented,” he replied. Baekhyun nods slowly, while holding Jongdae’s hand under the table.

“You must be saying that because you’re single,” Junmyeon claims. Jongdae was taken aback, but laughed it off. Three of them then continued talking, leaving Jongdae alone, drifting in his own thoughts.

The next morning, Jongdae woke up. He grins. It feels like forever since both Baekhyun and Chanyeol spent their nights at his house. Junmyeon had left earlier, as he had to fetch his younger brother, Sehun from the airport in the early morning. Jongdae then started off preparing the breakfast for his guests.

Baekhyun woke up, approaching Jongdae from sideways. “Your cooking! I miss your cooking”, Baekhyun screams in happiness. Chanyeol, who was in deep sleep, suddenly woke up due to the nice smell coming from Jongdae’s kitchen and Baekhun’s scream.

They casually talking, until Baekhyun asked about his health. “Are you feeling better now? Did you religiously take the medicines that were prescripted by the doctor?”.

Jongdae nods. He then goes on “I was thinking to attend some sort of treatment, but considering I don’t have much time left, maybe I shall just ditch that idea”.

Chanyeol upon hearing that, hit Jongdae’s palm. Chanyeol added, “No. You will live long enough, long enough to witness me getting married, long enough to be my kids bestest uncle. Thus, you have to go for the treatment. No one is talking about dying from now on. If you insist, I will break your bones”. Jongdae smiles, and nods.

“Does Junmyeon know about this as well?”, Baekhyun asked.

Jongdae shakes his head. Chanyeol in confusion, raises his eyebrows, and murmurs “Why?”.

Jongdae, in his defence, “I just don’t want him to worry. His big day is coming, I don’t want him to feel burdened”.

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchange glances, and directing their eyes on Jongdae. “Why would you think your disease would be a burden to Junmyeon? Why did you not tell him?”, Chanyeol speaks in rage.

Deep inside, Jongdae really wanted Junmyeon to know. Jongdae really wanted Junmyeon to be there for him, but he is unsure about that as well. Instead of answering Chanyeol’s question, Jongdae decided to change the whole topic, and assured them that he will tell him soon.

—————————————————————

Junmyeon keeps on thinking about the night where he had his dinner together last weekend with his friends. He noticed that Jongdae was pale. Jongdae looked sick. He also didn’t talk much that day, unlike the other days. Jongdae used to have this bubbly personality, that radiates positive energy, which made Junmyeon attracted to befriend him, well that was what he thought at first.

Junmyeon wanted to ask Baekhyun or Chanyeol, just in case they know what’s happening to Jongdae.

Before he could do so, his phone rang. Junmyeon immediately answers it, and slowly forgetting that matter.

It’s Saturday. Junmyeon thought on visiting Jongdae. Besides, his mum had bought some souvenirs for Jongdae from their recent trip to Malaysia last week. Junmyeon wanted to hand it to Jongdae.

As he was about to lock his door, he heard a familiar voice. It’s no other than his fiancée. Junmyeon was confused, on why this woman was here. Then only suddenly he realised that, today he had promised his fiancée to look for wedding attires, and wedding rings. Therefore, making him had to ditch his plan to visit Jongdae.

—————————————————————-

That night, Jongdae had trouble falling asleep. He tried all sorts of methods, including counting sheep until 100, yet none of those succeeded.

Lately, he’s been worrying about a lot of things. Even though the doctor had advised him not to think much, yet Jongdae was unable to stop himself. Jongdae knews by constantly worrying, it would deteriorate his health further yet, he can’t control it anymore.

All of sudden, tears started falling from his eyes, till he fall asleep.

Jongdae woke up due to heavy chest pain. He really couldn’t breathe at that time. He feels that his heart is aching so badly.

He reached for his phone, located on the table, beside his bed. He dialled for Junmyeon’s number but no answers. He called it many times, yet still no answer.

He forgot who’s number that he dialled later, “Myeon, help me. I can’t breathe”, before he fainted.

—————————————————————

Junmyeon rushes off to the hospital upon receiving the call from Chanyeol. Throughout the journey, Junmyeon keeps on praying for Jongdae to be fine, to God to spare Jongdae’s life. Upon arriving, Junmyeon parked his car, and left in hurry to the said floor, told by Chanyeol.

When he arrived at the floor, both Baekhyun and Chanyeol were crying. Junmyeon was bewildered. He thought, why are these people weeping. What’s happening. Junmyeon approached them.

Chanyeol, that initially sobbing, upon seeing Junmyeon, walked to him and yelled. “If only you, for once, start caring about him things might be different”.

Junmyeon was taken aback. He looked at them in confusion. Chanyeol further went “Fuck off you and your wedding. I don’t have an ignorant friend like you”.

Junmyeon, still in confusion asking Chanyeol, “why are you so mad? Where’s Jongdae?”.

Chanyeol went feral upon hearing Junmyeon’s question. “What do you mean where’s Jongdae?! He’s gone. He’s gone for real”, Chanyeol answered before walked away.

Junmyeon, who was still in confusion, went to Baekhyun, hoping that Baekhyun would enlighten him. “Baek, where’s Jongdae? Why did Chanyeol said he’s gone? What is that supposed to mean?”Junmyeon asked.

Baekhyun, holding and later hugging him, whispered “Yes Myeon. Jongdae isn’t here with us anymore. He’s now resting up above. He is with his parents now, guarding us from above”. Tears started streaming down at a rapid pace on Baekhyun’s face.

Junmyeon, upon hearing that fall back, in disbelief. He screamed and shrieked. “Jongdae”.

For a moment, Junmyeon’s heart feels heavy. For once he feels breathless. For once, his world turns black.

Still weeping and sobbing, Junmyeon further asking, “because of what?”.

Baekhyun replied, “lung cancer. Like his late father. We thought he could make it until your wedding, as the doctor said he only left with six months to live”.

Baekhyun then retorts, “we knew this all this while. We’ve thought you knew this as well, Myeon”.

Upon hearing that, Junmyeon slapped himself. Junmyeon was mad at himself. He was mad for being ignorant, for neglecting Jongdae all this while. He knew that he loves Jongdae so much, and it hurts his pride knowing that he didn’t and couldn't be with Jongdae during those times when Jongdae needed him the most.

Baekhyun hugged Junmyeon again, and this time, he whispers “Junmyeon. Jongdae once told me to tell you this. When he isn’t with us anymore, whenever you’re free, please visit his house. There’s a letter in his drawer, located inside his dressing table”. Junmyeon nods.

Baekhyun let the hug off, and walked away, letting Junmyeon alone, that is still sobbing and weeping hard.

—————————————————————

It’s been a week since that day. Junmyeon after getting his courage, decided to go to Jongdae’s house.

Upon arriving at Jongdae’s doorstep, he was contemplating. He’s scared that once he has entered the house, everything will remind him of Jongdae. He isn’t ready for that.

Nervously, he pressed the button on Jongdae’s door. To his surprise, the passcode is still the same, like Jongdae told him years ago. The passcode to Jongdae’s house is his birthday, and his favourite numbers. Junmyeon, started to groan, feebling in his tears. With a heavy heart, he entered the house.

He groans even more. The memories started to come back in rush, thus hurting him even more. He saw pictures that were framed on one of Jongdae’s coloured walls, where he saw himself and Jongdae smiling together. Junmyeon’s legs feel shaky, he feels helpless. He feels he has no energy to continue walking.

Slowly, he walked to Jongdae’s door. He then looked for Jongdae’s dressing table. He opened up the drawer just like what Baekhyun told him.

He saw a letter, addressing “To My MyeonCotton”. At this rate, Junmyeon weeps, so hard that tears ain’t running anymore. Jongdae called him by that name. Cotton was the nickname given by Jongdae to him because Jongdae once said that he is fluffy, like cotton candy. Junmyeon, trembles as he opens the letter. Junmyeon then started reading :

Junmyeon ah, eh no. MyeonCotton! Hi! Probably the time when you’re reading this, I’m no longer here. Anyway, Myeon, thank you for everything. Words will never be enough to express my gratitude to you, to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and even to your family. You guys had been taking care of me really well. I even became chubbier.

Junmyeon ah, thank you for being one of my best brothers in this world. Thank you for being one of my sources of happiness, healing and comfort. Thank you for always being with me through my ups and downs. Thank you for always showering me with affection and attention. Thank you for always treating me as your family members, to the extent you keep on calling me as your brother instead of Sehun.

Junmyeon ah, I really wanted to attend your wedding, being your best man, but I could feel that I couldn’t wait until that day any longer. My condition keeps on worsening everyday. By the way, congratulations in advance for getting married. Can’t believe that you’ll be someone’s husband, and about to be someone’s dad in the future. I pray for your eternal happiness, joy and lots of love.

I’m sorry for not telling you about my disease, I just don’t want to burden you. I don’t want you to feel worried. Please don’t be mad at me or else, my soul wouldn’t be resting in peace. ><

Before I forgot, I had named you as my beneficiary for my properties, including this house. My lawyer will tell you further about that.

Anyway, be a great man ok! A great dad to your kids, a wonderful husband to your wife, and amazing friends to both Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Please look after them just like you did to me.

Junmyeon ah, please don’t be sad anymore. I promise I’ll be watching and guarding you from above.

Anyway, take care MyeonCotton! Really, I love you a lot. I love you so much that it hurts, to admit and tell you personally. I love you so much that it hurts me, as I don’t have the courage to confront you and congratulate you personally about your marriage and dating news. I love you so much that it hurts me, to cry daily, praying to God, to grant you happiness. I love you so much that it hurts me, to not be able telling you about my disease, so that I can endured this alone, without you having to worry about me. I love you so much that it hurts me to see you being happy in someone else's arms.

Lastly, I love you so much that it hurts me, to bid our farewell like this. I love you so much that it hurts me, to not be able to see you for the last time, just because I don’t want to see you shed your tears in front of me, because I don’t want to see you in pain.

Again, I love you so much Junmyeon, and it hurts me again as I’m writing this. I really love you. No lies.

Till then,  
JongdaTigerBoba.

With that, Junmyeon’s heart shatters. Only that, he realised one thing, that Jongdae was part of him all along. He sobbed as if there’s no tomorrow. The truth is, there’s no tomorrow for him. He had lost it since the day Jongdae left.

“Let’s part ways as if nothing is wrong, so that our last goodbye will be beautiful. Thus just smiles a little longer until then”.


End file.
